I was suffering from a bit of a block these past few weeks.
(Yes, this is the post I started a week ago that I alluded to yesterday!)
I finally had an epiphany when I read two posts back on December 30th that really opened my eyes: one on my friend Justin’s blog and one from Kailey over on SnackFace (a blog was new to me as of last week). But both struck chords as to why I’m having such a hard time writing lately:
I’m trying too hard.
Trying too hard to be the “perfect” blogger writing Important Stuff™ that would Change People’s Lives™. Trying too hard to be the next friggin’ Martha Stewart with innovative recipes and perfect photography and everything else that woman manages to do in a day.
I’m done with it.
I realized that I’m not a young 20-something anymore and that I’ve been somehow trying to compete with these vivacious (and thin!) ladies and since I’m not a young 20-something, I always came up lacking. Being less than. Being inferior.
Which SO isn’t true!
The whole point of this blog was to learn how to live well in my own skin, and I seemed to have lost that entire concept!
I just gotta let it flow. I’m not going to be the next amazing food/recipe blogger. I’m not going to produce book-worthy photos of desserts and foods I eat. I’m not going to be the size 4 athlete who can run half marathons in shorty shorts and a bra top. I’m a soon-to-be 39-year-old with a weird sense of humor and a desire to share my story. If I gain readers/money/fame (HAH), then fine. But that’s not my motivation to do so…not anymore.
I’m a slow runner, I sometimes drink too much wine and eat cheese until I nearly explode, and I’m never going to be a 6-foot willowy supermodel (although that’s how I feel some days! )
No more perfection – just me, warts and all.
* * * * *
Now, let’s talk about Christmas: I got some fun gifts this year!
A Kindle Touch from Tim’s parents and…
A smokin’ hot 27″ iMac!
Tim warned me he was going to “splurge” on me for Christmas, and he wasn’t kidding! I got the Mac a few weeks early as he bought it and discovered upon delivery that there was no way he could hide the box from me, especially in our little house! So, he gave it to me early!
But the best present I got this holiday season wasn’t just for me, and it wasn’t a Christmas gift!
We get to move to this fabulous house with a huge, bright and sunny kitchen, enough space so we don’t feel stacked up on top of each other, a two-car garage (we struggle with a small one-car now), and the best part…
…a backyard and a garden!! I’m so damn excited to grow my own veggies this summer. All the kale we can eat! Woo hoo! *dances in chair*
The house thing was part of the “freaking out” that was consuming my life the past few weeks. Now begins the fun of packing up and moving in a couple of months! I can’t wait!!
2012 is going to be the best year ever!